You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams

Location: Kentucky, United States

Thursday, August 22, 2002

Time to start. I keep waiting for something profound. I worry about my grammar or my spelling ( both are awful). I worry about my intended readers, what image I am presenting. Enough already. No one knows I'm here.

I like to buy journals, I stand in the store and leaf through the empty pages. Feel the heft of the volume, the binding, and I think all I have to say. It bubbles and burns like some angst driven heart burn, but never enough. I have three or four laying around the house. The best of these is a small leather bound journal that was fairly expensive. There is nothing in them. Not a word. I keep waiting for something to say that hasn't been said thousands of times over by people smarter, wiser or more creative than I am.

I think all of us when we are younger think we will be different. We look around at the grey boring lives around us and we swear we will flame and burn. Our lives will be short and bright and tragic. What's worse, is being average, normal, predictable.

So enough already. My feelings do count. There is nothing grander or more noble than to be a Man. To be honest, a supporter and provider for my family. To want what is better and true. To never stop trying to learn, even at the cost of my own beliefs. And if this sounds hokey and boring to you then move along. My fight is Today, and your weight is not welcome.

Another Time


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