You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams

Location: Kentucky, United States

Tuesday, September 10, 2002

Starfish; as long as you can see

A man is walking on a beach. All along the shore, starfish have have been left on the sand from a recent storm. The man sees a boy picking up starfish and throwing them back into the water. The confused man asks the boy, "Son don't you realize there are thousands of starfish washed up on this beach? There is no way your can make of difference throwing those starfish back in the water" The boy reaches down picks up another starfish and throws it into the water and says, "I made a difference to that one" I've always heard that story in reference to perseverance in doing good, but today another darker meaning came to mind.

I plan to stay away from television tomorrow. I am not going to any memorial services. I am trying hard not to think about where I was a year ago, who I was a year ago. I want to think I was not personally touched by what happened.

I have an aunt who is a flight attendant with American Airlines. She lives in Manhattan. She is fine. A year ago we called and woke her up to tell her what was happening several blocks away from her apartment. I do not know anyone who died, except for a friend of a friend, whose name I don't know. I don't want to be affected, (not this one) but my head is full of it. I keep remembering every detail of that day. I can't remember the day before yesterday without writing it down, but everything I've done today has reminded me of what I was doing a year ago, before..

I don't want to be affected. It makes me angry that I have let those selfish cowards have any victory in my life. Then I remember Israel, and I think of the influence of one. We lost so many, too many that day. Israel hasn't went a week since that day that some (one) has not died. I can't keep (it) out of my thoughts and it happened a year ago. What if it happened every other day? I know, we lost thousands in one day, but they lose one, two, five, ten, at a time. The difference it makes to that one, is 9/11 all over again. If I was a family member of that one, if it was my one, it would feel as if thousands were gone. No logic or political argument would change it.

They have a saying in Israel, if you save a life it's as if you saved a whole world.... If you take a life... one... just one....


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