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You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams

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Location: Kentucky, United States

Sunday, May 18, 2003

The Matrix is real and among us

A malevolent Artificial Intelligence has taken control of the earth and subjugated humanity in both The Terminator and The Matrix movie series. I think it is more than a coincidence that this theme of a sentient A.I., exceeding its programming, and tormenting its creators should be so prominent at this time in our popular media. It is as if our gestalt mind has recognized the imminent catastrophe bearing down on us, and our collective subconscious is sounding a warning by every means available. You can see it in books and magazines, video games and TV, but nowhere quite so prominently than the current crop of movies that openly reveal the plan for humanity's destruction.

In both The Terminator and The Matrix series intelligent machines seek to destroy or enslave the human race and it is the everlasting torment presented in The Matrix that I believe we should pay the greatest attention to. For it is here that we can already see the seeds of apocalypse sown in our everyday lives. Where does this evil dwell you say? Take heed, for just as in our cinema subconscious, the prototype of the plague to come is among us in seemingly innocent form.

It’s those fricken fracken dollar bill vending machines. As God is my witness, I know those dang things are alive and laughing at me. I cannot tell you how many times I have been setting in the car wash line, dollar bills crisp and new as the day they were minted lined up on the dash in front of me, a line of cars a block long behind me, and seven out of ten dollars in the machine before it becomes possessed by satan himself. It always happens when a manager is nowhere to be found, when you have no way to get change for fresh sacrificial dollar bills for the god in the machine that now has complete control over your life

Yesterday I stopped at the Post Office after hours to buy a book of stamps. I broke a twenty with a cup of coffee to have plenty of bills for the machine. I got six out of the seven dollars and forty cents needed for the stamps into the machine without a problem. Then once I was committed, it decides to play evil little games with me. Put in a crisp new dollar, wait three seconds, spit out crisp new dollar. Put in different crisp new dollar, wait three seconds, spit out crisp new dollar. After ten minutes of this, the root of the evil A.I. to come shows itself. Put in crisp new dollar, wait three seconds, spit out, no, only halfway out, now bring it back in a little, wait two seconds, spit out crisp new, no, first move it back and forth a couple more times, now, spit out crisp new dollar.

I went in to get stamps and after twenty minutes left with stamps and an ulcer. Think what this software will be capable of doing when it escapes from the vending machines to the web. It is only a matter of time. We are all doomed.

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