Timothy-Tucker.com

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams

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Location: Kentucky, United States

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Bit o' Wit

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, getting in and out past security, he was captured only 2 blocks away when his Econoline van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:


I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

Friday, August 22, 2003

No guts, No glory

I bought this neat little notebook. It is leather with a ribbon page marker, and comes with an elastic strap that holds it closed while it’s in my book bag. It also came with a pamphlet, “The history of a Legendary Notebook.” This is the first paragraph,

“It is two centuries now that moleskine has been the legendary notebook of European artists and intellectuals, from Van Gogh to Henry Matisse, from the exponents of the historical avant-garde movements to Ernest Hemingway. Many are the sketches and notes, ideas and emotions that have been jotted down and harboured in this trustworthy pocket-size travel companion before being turned into famous pictures or the pages of beloved books.”

OMG, You know what this means don’t you?

There is no way I got the guts to write in this thing!!

Wednesday, August 20, 2003

Oh, What sad lives we lead

The biggest social event in a decade for our little town occurred over the last couple of days. Last night, at 6:00pm, our Wal-Mart, beloved temple of consumerism, turned off the spotlight on the American flag flying high above the parking lot, and closed its doors for the last time.

The store shelves were bare, and had been for several days. Customers bought shopping carts full of things they didn’t need or want because all items were marked down for the closeout.

At seven a.m. the following morning, just a few hundred yards away, a new stoplight began working. It was there to ease traffic congestion for the sparkling new Super-Wal-Mart. New and improved, Super-sized like the fries selling at the built in McDonald’s restaurant. People had been waiting in the parking lot for hours that morning wanting to be the first to see the inside of this wonder. Speeches were made, the high school band played The Star Spangled Banner, and several show tunes, and large cardboard checks were handed out to various charities and organizations; tokens from the new Caesar, to appease the gods of capitalism.

We had some actually shopping to do, but we waited till late in the afternoon before plunging into the crowd. Zack my youngest son, ala’ Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, decided that since all the Wal-Marts looked exactly alike, there really is only one. He said the front of the store is a façade. Upon entering you are teleported to some capitalistic galaxy for off in space to the one “real” Wal-Mart. This makes stocking a lot easier, but the cost of the teleporters must eat up a lot of the profits.

I think he may be right. I have certainly seen some odd things in Wal-Mart before. Then again, maybe it’s just me.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

100 things about me

This is a popular trend. I need an "about" section on the site, so this is a start.

1. I’m left-handed, and proud of it.
2. I’m bald, and hate it, but I won't do Rogain, comeovers, wigs,
or transplants.
If you don't like who I am because of my hair your the one with the problem,
not me.
3. I read voraciously.
4. I always have at least two books with me.
5. I’m a cat person.
6. Dogs love me.
7. I’m creative, but only at the last minute.
8. I’m hopelessly romantic.
9. I prefer romantic comedies to action flicks.
10. I am a big Sci-Fi fan though.
11. I’ve lost my passion for music and it scares me.
12. I’m sleep deprived most of the time.
13. I think mowing the yard or making the bed is wasted time.
14. I would rather have books than underwear.
15. Fortunately my wife does my shopping.
16. I have twice caught the backyard on fire.
17. I am resistant to change.
18. I seek out new experiences
19. I played trumpet in high school band.
20. I can piddle around on piano and guitar.
21. I sing, but only in church.
22. I study Theology as a layman.
23. I usually stay in trouble in Sunday school.
24. I love a theological argument as long as no one gets mad.
25. How you live is your business, so keep it out of mine.
26. I think you should question everything.
27. But never ask a question you are afraid to hear the answer to.
28. I believe I would do anything to know the Truth.
29. Some things are black and white.
30. Dishonesty is what I dislike most.
31. I have captured all the Pokemon and brag to little kids about it.
32. My youngest son tears me up at first person shooters.
33. RPG’s are my favorite video game.
34. I like movies with subtitles.
35. Spelling is my worst subject.
36. After math and geography
37. They always give me the blue question in the center of Trivial pursuit.
38. I’m usually there first.
39. My wife knows the important stuff.
40. I drink too much coffee.
41. If I start eating ice cream sandwiches I don’t stop till the box is empty.
42. Ice Cream better be in heaven.
43. I hope I am too.
44. I can get depressed over someone else’s pain.
45. Screeching on the blackboard does not bother me.
46. But I can’t stand the feel of the cotton in a medicine bottle.
47. The wilder the roller coaster the better.
48. I think kissing is the most intimate act, when it is done right.
49. I have worked in the medical field for twenty-four years.
50. My handwriting is so bad, once, when someone forged a check on me, the bank called
because they could read my signature.
51. I don’t like westerns.
52. Lonesome Dove is the only book I have read more than three times.
53. I am very focused.
54. But only on a couple things at a time.
55. I am awed and amazed sometimes by very mundane things.
56. I get depressed very easily
57. It doesn’t take much to amuse me.
58. I’m an Idealist/ Empathic Introvert. (Look it up)
59. I am a fussy driver, but am trying to improve. Starting next time, maybe.
60. I studied philosophy in high school; it was during math class. I made a D. In math not philosophy.
61. I am hungry all the time, even when I’m full.
62. It’s milk before cereal.
63. I have eaten an entire box of granola at one setting.
64. Till you have had a true kosher hot dog, you haven’t had a hot dog.
65. I am obsessive about the toothpaste tube being squeezed from the bottom. I would iron it if I could.
66. I am a slob about most everything else. Well, slob may be a little strong, may be.
67. My favorite outfit is loose fitting jeans with some black, geek t-shirt.
68. Beverle won’t let me dress like that for Church.
69. Black Double-breasted suit, white collarless shirt with a jeweled button cover.
70. I don’t dress like that for Church either, just taking Bev out.
71. I am always on the look out for the perfect hat.
72. I push my kids too hard.
73. I don’t push my kids hard enough.
74. Once I rode my bicycle 2100 miles in six months.
75. This year I haven’t ridden a hundred.
76. I am on a diet. Now.
77. I can’t dance, but wish I could.
78. I talk to myself.
79. Eternity for men cologne
80. Shower, instead of bath.
81. I sing, loudly, by myself in the car.
82. Most important movie, ever: Saving Private Ryan (Tell me I’m a good man)
83. Favorite Guilty movie pleasure: The Three Amigos
84. Favorite Theological Text: The Life and Times of Jesus the Messiah
85. Favorite Guilty reading pleasure: The Stephanie Plum series
86. Favorite color: Blues
87. Favorite musical style: Blues
88. The little finger on my right hand doesn’t work right. (Third degree burn as an infant)
89. Don’t even be thinking about touching my computer screen.
90. I once got a speeding ticket doing 125 mph on a motorcycle. (I got over being stupid)
91. I don’t like to answer the phone.
92. Why put off till tomorrow, what you can put off till next week.
93. Especially going to the dentist. (Give me gas, gas, gas, even to clean my teeth. In fact, can I get this to go?)
94. I am a pseudo-intellectual, whatever that is.
95. I am thankful, even when I’m not.
96. I am Christian and proud of it. (Which is an oxymoron I know)
97. I love my kids.
98. I love my wife.
99. My life is good.
100 My life is good.

Monday, August 18, 2003

Things we should be able to take with us into winter.


Wildflowers changing as the months go by.
The smell of fresh mown grass.
The sound of summer rain.
Dinner on the deck.
Fresh green beans.
Real tomatoes.
Barefoot.
Swimming.
Bicycle riding.
Corn on the cob.
Taking walks with the dog
The sun staying up until eight
Reading poetry to Beverle on the deck

Saturday, August 16, 2003

Puppy Love

It has been several weeks since I have been able to sit on the deck in the morning and drink coffee, watching the day come up around me. The bird and the dog have suffered a lack of attention for the same reason.

The puppies are beginning to come out from underneath the deck now. They are all vibrantly healthy and content. Their mother is thin and haggard looking. I suspect it will not be long before she begins weaning them.

I woke both the boys by placing a puppy in bed with them. Zack already refers to one of the black ones as “his.” It was not my plan to segregate individuals out at this stage. There is not any practical way we can keep this many dogs. We need to have the mother fixed before this can happen again. Our intention was to have her fixed at the beginning, but she was already pregnant before her previous owner dropped her off in the middle of nowhere.

We have little yipping bundles of fur waddling around the deck. They are a joy to watch. However, they leave little puddles for bare feet to find.



I know.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

Captured in the Camera of the Eye


The dog is gray,

So is she,

Old friends, together for their daily walk.


Monday, August 11, 2003

Dive! Dive! Dive!

Somewhere in the back of my mind is a door, a door with a faulty latch. Next to this door are all the important things I am supposed to remember throughout the day. When my mind moves on, the important things spill out onto the road behind me. I see them trailing away in my rearview mirror.

The rest of my mind is brimming with seemingly useless trivia. I may lose track of a conversation in mid-sentence. I frequently forget what I had for breakfast, or where I was supposed to be at five o’clock, but I can readily recall that Harry Truman was the first President to ride in a submarine. No one seems to care that Harry Truman was the first President to ride in a submarine.

Surely, there is a higher meaning, a greater purpose this knowledge aspires to. Maybe at some cataclysmic moment, someone will look to heaven and say, “If only we knew who the first president to ride in a submarine was, we could stop this awful thing.”

Then my friends, yes then;

I can hardly wait.

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Savor Flavors

The first cup of coffee in the morning.
The last donut in the box.

Yeah, I know its August but I've got S.A.D.

Leaves fall, flowers fade, and the sun sets earlier each day.
Winter, following the geese, migrates south, bringing its heavy coat and mittens.

Friday, August 08, 2003

Just a thought

Do you think there is such a thing as an Amish slacker?

Tuesday, August 05, 2003

Inspiration

I put down my notebook and turn off the light. I can feel it in the room with me, hiding. I move slowly, not wanting to scare it away. I know that if I lay quietly, pretending to sleep, it will come to me, bring me back up from the twilight of my consciousness, leaping on my bed like a child, wanting to play.

They move the ocean


On the way home from work a cloud, weary of its weight, collapses, pouring itself out. Condensed, it runs through the streets, light reflecting off its glassy surface. Three miles away it is dry, but here rivers form. Cars turn on their headlights; some give up and pull over, their wipers overcome by the deluge. Almost as quick as it began it is over. The sun pours through, turning the water to crystal.

Other clouds drift by; mountain ranges of clouds, whole landscapes. We crane our heads to see their summits. We pick the spot for our base camps, how we will pick through the glacier fields, where we will make our final push. Because it is there.

To the Sherpas dismay, the mountain changes. We strain our eyes, unblinking, but still it changes. Whole cities appear and disappear, civilizations vanish and flourish. The clouds move on, impervious to our wish to hold them with our eyes.

Where their brother has tired and laid down his burden, others move in, grabbing the moisture from the ground to carry it closer to the tops of rivers. They move the ocean inland, carrying it on their backs and shoulders, pouring it from their mouths and eyes. They move upstream, the salmon following.

We stand in awe of these giants as they pass, oblivious to our admiration. We are too small to be seen from their heights, too ineffectual for consideration.

Our tears are petty in comparison.

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

If sleep is like a small version of death
why do I love it so?

Monday, August 04, 2003

The past weekend was a wonderful blessing. My oldest son turned sixteen. He had a houseful of friends down Friday night for a LAN party. They were up till five a.m. playing Halo. I slept with earplugs.

The next day we had a reunion with twenty-five of our Youth Group kids and their families. It was good to see them together again. We got to meet some “grandchildren” we had never seen before, and some old friends we had not seen in years.

The one regret we had was Donna didn’t make it. She is thinking about missionary work in Thailand and everyone was looking forward to hearing of her adventures and experiencing her unique Donna-ness one more time before she leaves. She was working in her Church at home though, so we can’t complain much. We did anyway, that’s just how we are. ;)

26 Things

Finally done! Go here, or click on link under photos

Friday, August 01, 2003

Truth in advertising?



What do you think made the splash?