You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams

Location: Kentucky, United States

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

Purpose Driven Life Journal: Day Three: Part one

Point to consider: Living on purpose is the path to peace.

Question to consider: What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want it to be?

Journal: As to what the driving force in my life is, Avoidance of pain is the first honest thing that comes to mind, stimulation/ avoidance of boredom also rings true, but may be a subset of avoidance of pain. Of course this is an over analyzed answer, either way. The question is fundamentally flawed. If I knew myself that well, if anyone knew himself or herself that well, they would have no need of this book.

My wife says my driving force is taking care of my family. I get up, go to work, pay the bills, all those responsible Dad things, and of course she is right. Anyone whose goal in life is to avoid pain would never become involved in intimate relationships.

What do I want my driving force to be? Of course the correct/pat/Sunday school answer is God/Love, but on a fundamental level I don't understand what I am expecting with that request. My life prayer has always been, Make me real. I don't know what that means either, so I leave it up to Him, and keep trying to stay on the path.

Purpose Driven Life Journal: Day Three: Part two

Question to consider: How will you answer God when He asks?
1.What did you do with my Son, Jesus Christ,
2. What did you do with what I gave you?

Journal: 1. I ignored Him, rejected Him, accepted Him, ignored Him, betrayed Him, sold Him, sold myself for Him, stole from Him, lied to Him, twisted His words, loved Him, cried for Him, cried out to Him, worshipped Him, questioned Him, doubted Him, fought Him, pleaded with Him, closed my ears and shut my eyes to Him, begged His forgiveness, hardened my heart to Him, pleaded His cause, ignored His pain, shunned His Spirit, and it still goes on.

2. I wasted almost all of it. What I didn’t waste, I overlooked. What I overlooked He used in me to do the most amazing, fulfilling things of my life.