You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it. Robin Williams

Location: Kentucky, United States

Tuesday, May 04, 2004

Purpose Driven Life Journal: Day Two

Point to consider: I am not an accident.
Question to ponder: Knowing that God created me for a purpose, what areas of my personality, background, and appearance do I need to accept?

Journal: In the book, struggling is used instead of need. Despite the long list of things I would change about myself, if I had the power, the struggling/need is what I find hardest to accept. I recently realized that I search people’s faces, looking into their eyes for something, trying to find a glimpse of recognition or comfort. I did not realize until yesterday that what I was doing was looking for someone who can save me, salvation, a savior, the Savior, looking for Him in the faces of others.

My rational mind knows that I will not find the Messiah standing in a crowd, or across from me in a car at a stoplight, but that Need manifests itself, often in behavior that is self destructive. If He will not show Himself then I will satiate myself with something temporary to ease the pain of His Silence.

Making peace with Need, learning to live in a permanent fasting state is what I most need/struggle to accept.


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